| Just throwing this out there.. |
[ | |
9.26.06 - 10.52pm
| | ] |
Yeah, it's way stressful (annoying? irritating? nah, I'll stick with stressful) being in love with the guy so many girls want affection from.
.ytc.
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| It's about that time |
[ | |
8.24.06 - 12.37am
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My sleeping pattern's been royally fucked lately. I get off the phone two hours before I should so I sleep way later than I should. I don't even know what I do anymore. Hell, normally I wouldn't even bother updating this. ( Since you know, you're the only one who would read this, and you probably won't even read unless I ask you to update it. ) But I'm not really complaining. At least I can say things and not have to worry about having to make them private. Unless... unless someone actually went into livejournal showcase over at CB.com and clicked on my livejournal. Jesus. Oh well. I hope he or she finds my writing amusing.
Well, what else is there to say, stranger? If you haven't noticed yet, that person who normally updates my LJ ( and the one I was talking to in the previous parentheses ) has a HUGE thing for me. I know, I know. It's awesome. And yes, if you don't know yet, I have a GINORMOUS thing for her too. And not just because she would update my livejournal. Not because she makes me jump around like a schoolgirl whenever she sings to me. ( Shut up. It's a perfectly healthy reaction and totally NOT GAY. ) Not because she's possessive and wants to keep me all to herself. Not because she's extremely jealous. Well, actually, it's because of those. *cliche* I :heart: her. And she's mine. HA!
Well, reader, good night.
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| Hello.. |
[ | |
7.26.06 - 10.40pm
| | ] |
Nothing fancy this time, no song lyrics, no weird ramblings or anything like that.
Just wanted you to know that I love you.
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| *cough* |
[ | |
7.18.06 - 1.26pm
| | ] |
"I love you so much.."
"We should really work on that."
"No.."
"Haha, why not?"
"I don't want to stop."
"Good answer."
"Score three points for the barely coherent."
"You won't remember this."
"I will."
No lyrics this time, threw you a curveball, didn't I?
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| Ninja. |
[ | |
7.16.06 - 4.29pm
| | ] |
When everyone around you sees
An ordinary life
Fit for nothing more than common dreams
I can see the stars of heaven
Shining in your eyes
For the world to see My promises come true
Oh, for the world to see My love come shining, I choose you
Don't look up the song, it sucks. I just like those lines. And with that, hi.. I honestly don't know what to say here, but I must be going insane because I'm having a really hard time thinking today. I don't think I'm anonymous anymore, eventually someone will figure out it's me and I'm guessing they won't be too shocked when they realize who it is. Oh well. I'll just continue trying not to type anything too incriminating in the meantime.
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| Surprise. |
[ | |
6.28.06 - 1.50pm
| | ] |
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have..
But I've got to try
Gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will..
I'm messed up, you know that? Stupid songs that make me think of you.
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet as what I can't have.. >.<
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| :P |
[ | |
6.2.06 - 7.23pm
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Even if it's a lie,
even if it's a dream,
please turn to me.
Your smile on a certain day isn't a lie,
it's not a dream.
But having it turn to me might be my lie,
my dream.
But the day you call me name,
it won't be a lie,
it won't be a dream.
It's never been a lie,
it's never been a dream...
...that I love you.
- Anonymous
See, now ain't that nice? Haha.
Note:
Finish the ending.
Write a new one.
Write third chapter.
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| I tried, I did. |
[ | |
6.2.06 - 3.16am
| | ] |
And it's a shame
It took us this long
Isn't it a shame
I've been doing this all wrong
I'm ashamed..
All this time, it's been for someone else
Not this time
This time it's for you
I'm awake. I'm wide awake. My head hurts. I can't sit still, I'm uncomfortable, I keep changing positions. I keep thinking.. that's not a good idea, is it? Not so shady with this one, it's pretty straighforward, eh? And when I want to think of something to say.. Yeah, I'm thinking of that song again. I really should sleep, though. I apologize, yet again. But.. really, in a way, it always has been. Ask me to explain that if you want, but for now I'll leave it at that. :)
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| TAO Day. |
[ | |
6.1.06 - 5.35pm
| | ] |
Expect me to be calling you to see
If you're okay when I'm not around
Asking if you love me
I love the way you make that sound..
With that, I've given myself away to at least one person, maybe two.
And it's too bad that right now, when I'm trying to type, I can only think of that song. Sorry to disappoint. No illustrations, no music, no real entry, just my empty head trying to come up with something to say. No secret messages, nothing. Thirteen minutes. Around that. Well, twelve now. I'm running out of time. Why did you want me to do this again?
..Okay, that was a LOT less than twelve.
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[ | |
5.26.06 - 9.32pm
| | ] |
Hey.
Sup?
How are you?
You should tell me when you aren't going to go on the bus. I was waiting for you, did you know that? It was cold outside and you made me wait for nothing.
Yeah, I did. I'm sorry.
It's fine. I can't get mad at you. Just tell me next time, okay?
I will. Oh, guess what.
What's that?
I ran around frantically looking for the magic number. The number attached to the bus that would take me home and away from this frozen hell. God, I hated school. If it wasn't mandatory, I wouldn't go. Then again, not a lot of people would. 114. One Fourteen. Where the hell are you? I heard a honk behind me and immediately knew what it came from. My "oh-so-fucking-cool" bus driver. Jesus what a prick. That dense bastard should realize that trying to show off to teenagers doesn't make you cool. In fact, " cool " is quickly shooting off, out of his reach -- assuming it isn't already. Asshole.
I was late, so I had to share a seat with a guy I used to know. I say that eventhough I never actually knew the guy. He and I sort of hung out a couple of years back. He wasn't annoying or anything, but there was something odd about him. I don't know what it is, but I know it's got to do with his hair. He's the type that wore a ponytail, but would leave some hair on his face. I never understood why someone would do that. Anyway, he isn't that bad. In fact, he's quite the conversationalist. Well, speaker. I always listened. I never knew what the hell he'd talk about.
I'm in love.
Excuse me?
I'm in love, man.
Oh yeah, with who?
________________. I'm in love with __________________.
Hey, Will. Remember when I told you that if I ever had the chance, you'd be the first person I'd kill? I changed my mind.
I didn't speak with him after that. I guess he figured that I didn't want to speak with him since he just stared out the window. That bitch had the nerve to tell me he's in love with her. And at the most random way too. Who does that nowadays?! I wasn't really mad at the fact that he's now competing with me over a girl that's already found someone, I'm mad because he was inconsiderate enough not to consult me about her first before he told me. That's just wrong.
Hey Jeff.
Sup, Chrissy?
How are you?
You should tell me when you aren't going to go on the bus. I was waiting for you, did you know that? It was cold outside and you made me wait for nothing.
Well, you didn't really have to wait you know? No one ever told you, but yeah, I guess I did. I'm sorry.
It's fine. I can't get mad at you. I love you too much. Just tell me next time, okay?
Hehe.. I will. I will. Oh, guess what. You won't believe what just happened.
What's that?
Jeff, he proposed to me! It was the best!
I'm sorry?
We went to the park and there were flowers. I mean, there were flowers there that shouldnt be there. You know what I mean? Well, on top of one of the flowers was a box with a ring inside. I'm telling you, it was so sweet.
What did you say?
Well, I said " yes " ofcourse. Who wouldn't?
Hey, Chrissy, look. I've got to go. Congratulations. Bye.
What a downer.
----
Note to self: Edit the ending tomorrow. It sucks and you know it.
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| Staring at hymns |
[ | |
5.23.06 - 6.13pm
| | ] |
" Glory to God in the highest
Sing Glory to God
Glory to God in the highest
And peace to his people on earth "
In church, while the choir choirs and the priest priests, you're supposed to sit and listen, repent, and sing along if you can. You're supposed to absorb the words of the almighty father and pray for forgiveness. I don't go for forgiveness. I go for her. You already know her, but not like I do. In reality, we both know her the same, but I've heard her and that makes me mighty.
How mighty?
The pianist plays a couple of notes and everyone rises. Here comes the priest. Never boned anyone in his life. Pity. They ever wonder why there's a priest shortage? They probably have. And the fact that you can't ever bone is probably not on the list. Father sits on his throne slouched down. He's getting weak. Being old does have it's drawbacks. He's retiring soon. Better sooner than later. No matter how much you love God, the reaper will always collect. We are brothers because of that. You and I. Brothers.
Then you hear it.
An angel walked past me; her wings were hidden. She walks down the isle never touching the ground. She's elegant. She's fantastic. What's her name? I don't know, but she's here. She knows I'm here too. What makes you say that? Because she's nervous. Her eyes aren't looking at anything, but the altar. She started to breath harder when she saw me. She wants it to get over with. Her pace quickens an almost run. You can't run inside, that's rude. Very rude. My angel, my sunshine. She's afraid of me. But why? Is it because of the way I dress? The way I smell? The way I look?
Try the horn-like protrusions on your forehead.
The what?
Touch them. They're real.
She isn't like that. She isn't shallow. She should know I love her.
You two come from very different places.
Fuck you.
Now's the time. Do it. Now's the time. Your heart races. Your face is shining with sweat. It's 32° outside and you're sweating. Way to be obvious. You start to head out. She's walking with her friends. Good. You won't be noticed. You have to stay at least twenty paces behind. She won't notice you. No one will notice you. She goes into her apartment. 32 Wicker street. An old brick building that used to be a factory. They did a good job renovating. You did a good job too. You know where all entrances and exits are, right? Uh huh. You did your homework. I'm proud of you. Now go ahead. Go in. She's waiting for you. She loves you, you know that? She loves you more than I do. And I love you very much.
You know that one scene you get when you open a door in Resident Evil? Can you animate me something like that?
I can hear her in the bathroom. Her voice is recognizable anywhere. My ears hear nothing, but it. I like Frank Sinatra too. Yeah, I'll take you to the moon. Kiss you? Alright, if you insist. I'm standing in front of her bathroom door just staring through it. She's so gorgeous. Her body is flawless. Her skin, her hair, her legs, everything. I can see through the door. I can see her because I love her. And love does not follow any rules. Right, babe? It's time.
In other words, please be true. In other words, I love you.
Her eyes were wide when she saw me. They were the eyes of shock. But why are you shocked? You were expecting me. You knew I was here all along. Isn't it why you didn't lock your door? Or maybe you did. Did you? Why won't you answer me? Geeze, you should get a towel. You're standing there naked. You're such a tease. I'm blocking her only escape. Bathrooms don't usually have two doors. Now, she wishes they did. No, scratch that. She loves me. She'd never try to leave. But you did. You stupid, stupid whore. Did you really think you can slip past me? Hell, even if you did I'd still outrun you. God. She ran towards me arms open. She wanted me. She wanted me as much as I loved her. My blade, she never felt it when it entered her. She never felt the 9-inch piece of stainless steal go inside her and sever her aorta. Usually, babe, your wound will start to shoot out blood like a super soaker on steroids. But not right now. I promise you won't feel a thing. I'm with you. I love you. We'll never be apart.
What happens when an angel and a demon meets?
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| Jimmy Cross Complex |
[ | |
5.22.06 - 8.32pm
| | ] |
" Have you ever loved someone so much that you went crazy? "
" Yes. "
" Enough that you went crazy? "
" Uh huh. "
" How were you crazy? "
" She never loved back. That bitch, but I still loved her."
" Yeah, that's insane. "
" Emo love story insane. Almost emo enough to get me cutting."
I wait in front of the school, rubbing my arms trying to keep warm. A tropical boy in a non-tropical place during a non-tropical season. Horrible.
But she's worth it.
I cup my hands and blow inside them cherishing the half-second of warmth my body gave me. I take my friend's advice and thought of five blankets wrapped around me. Shielding me from this bitter weather and keeping the heat in. That bitch, it didn't work. I'll get him later for this. I'm still cold as hell. I shouldn't have worn shorts today. Yeah, believe it when the weather man said it'll be hot even though you can see rain outside. Pathetic. Idiot. You deserve to freeze.
She's worth it.
I jog in place trying to keep my blood running. Yeah, this'll do it. Jogging will get me warm in no time. People around me begin to stare. What the hell is that boy doing? Jogging in place to keep warm, bitch. Move along. Despite my best effort, I can't keep myself jogging for too long. Three years without any real excercise did me good. So I stopped, winded, embarrased, cold. I check my watch to see if I was late or not. My bus driver won't wait for me. He probably won't even notice if I come or not. I hate him. He thinks he's so cool. You're a bus driver. The moment you took that job is the moment you stopped being cool. Get a life.
Hey.
What?
Why are you so mean?
Because you're making me wait.
You're making yourself wait.
I want to see you.
I know. Wait five more minutes?
Fine. You're worth the wait.
Am I?
Are you?
She comes out looking for me. She isn't bothered by the cold. She's got one of those thick jackets complete with artifical fur lining the hood. Makes her look like an eskimo, but what ever works. She walks careful not to step in a puddle. Her boots might get ruined. I hated her boots. Ugg? What an idiot brand. They don't even look nice. I bet you only bought them because other people wore 'em. You're so damned typical. Oh yeah? Look who's talking Mr. I-Love-Big-Baggy-Clothes.
Touche, asshole.
I'm here! She said with a huge smile on her face. She's so cheerful. So happy. So fucking warm. Whoop dee doo. I hope you get so hot, you start burning. That'd give me a smile as big as yours.
She isn't coming today.
Huh?
She got a ride home from her boyfriend.
Oh. Well, I'm off then.
Hey.
What?
Have you ever loved someone so much that you went crazy?
What the hell is that, a song?
No. Well, have you?
Yes.
Enough that you went crazy?
Uh huh. Well, still crazy right now.
How are you crazy?
She doesn't love me back. Never will, that bitch. But I still love her.
That's sweet.
No it isn't.
Yeah, it is. Who is she?
___________________
But she's...
Uh huh.
Yeah, that's insane.
Emo love story insane. Almost emo enough to get me cutting.
|
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| Hello, YTC |
[ | |
5.11.06 - 3.54pm
| | ] |
Dearest Yellow Team Captain,
Thanks x10000000000000
Love,
Red Team Captain
PS: Screw IE.
|
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| Hello RTC. :) |
[ | |
5.11.06 - 2.35am
| | ] |
I'm about 90% done with the layout. I thought I'd put it up here so you can see it - I figure you'll come across it sooner or later. I'm also adding myself as a friend. Things that need to be fixed:
- if you select mood/music it completely throws off the layout
- friends page doesn't display names of the person that made the post
- one pixel off in IE
- colors are really bad
But I wanted to get close to being finished before you come online tomorrow. So yeah.. Surprise!
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